All Roads Lead to the Same Destination
by Lyrical Liquorice
Summary: Dean struggles to accept his new responsibility. Especially when his world's just been ripped apart.  I own none of the characters in this fic, except for Alex. Please review.
1. Chapter 1

_**Part One.**_

Alex Collins took the hunter's hand as he sat next to her on the edge of the brightly coloured motel bed. After almost a year of traveling around together, they'd grown quite close. Almost a relationship as some might describe it, though they wouldn't dare admit they cared about eachother that way. Even if they did it would be used against them. And finally she'd found the opportunity to tell Dean the burning secret that had weighed her down for nearly a week.

"Dean, look... There's something I've been meaning to tell you."  
Alex turned her gaze to the floor and took a deep breath as Dean's eyes searched the fellow hunters worried face.

Finally she looked up and her tear filled, sea blue eyes met his sparkling green ones.

"Lex? C'mon, it can't be that bad." He said, reassuringly squeezing her hand.  
She half smiled and took a shuddered breath.

"Well, I...I'm just gonna say it 'kay?"  
She'd spent endless hours trying to piece together the perfect sentence to break the news, only now did she realise that it wasn't even possible.

"I'm pregnant."

She squeezed her eyes tight shut and waiting for some sort of response. A single teardrop trickled down her cheek as she felt his hand leave hers.

"We're...I...I'm gonna be a...a dad?"

She looked up with teary eyes to see Dean, running a hand through his short hair, his lips trembling. Silently, the walls they'd put up to protect themselves from getting close to one another (and to keep out even the mere idea of "falling in love") broke down.

"Uh huh."

Without making another sound, Dean gently placed his hands on Alex's cheeks and pressed his lips against hers. After pulling away, he rested his forehead against her own and smiled, allowing the information he had just received to wash over him and sink in. Fear of safety and protection would come later, but in that moment he was happy.

"Thank you" He whispered. The door clicked and opened. Sam walked in, his iPod on loud, and almost didn't notice the atmosphere in the room. As he looked around at the couple, Dean straightened and wiped away the stray tears that had escaped from his emerald eyes.

"What have i missed?" His bewildered younger brother asked, pulling out his earphones, his eyebrows knitted closely together.

"You tell him" Alex smiled when Dean looked at her for reassurance about whether they should tell him.

Sam shifted his stance and dropped his duffel bag on his bed. "Tell me what?"

"I'm gonna have a kid." Dean said shakily, a smile hovering nervously at the corner of his lips.

"Huh?" Sam just looked plain confused.

"Lexi's pregnant" Dean smiled his famous crooked smile. "I'm gonna be a dad. Sam, you're gonna be an Uncle."

Sam's expression didn't shift as his eyes flitted between his brother and the female hunter he thought he knew so well. She and Sam used to be friends years back, when they were teenagers. He'd realised that Alex and Dean had gotten close, when you were with someone 24/7 it was hard not to notice things like that, but for them to be having a kid together... His first thought was of how they were going to cope. They were hunters, they couldn't have a baby with them. Not to mention that Sam and Dean were practically the Demon's most wanted, how the Hell were they going to manage?

The second thought that washed over him was of their dad. How would John have reacted to being a Grandpa? He could hear his father's voice ringing in his ear about how everyone's safety came before your own happiness. Silently, the youngest Winchester wondered what John would have said in this situation. Sam thought about raising these issues, but with one look into his brothers shimmering eyes and hopeful expression, he sighed and forced a smile.

"That's great, man", he nodded, hugging his brother before hugging Alex.

Little did he know that everyone in that tiny motel room was forcing a smile.  
A thousand problems with having a child were running through Sam's head, this had to be a dream, because the consequences could be massive if it were reality.

Dean looked at the mother of his child and his heart dropped, knowing this would only lead to something terrible but forcing a smile to reassure her, regardless. If a Demon got hold of them while she was pregnant, they'd be screwed. He couldn't let her hunt anymore for her own safety, and that of the child she was carrying. Then there was the problem of raising the child. They couldn't hunt. Hence, people would die. And if they did hunt, they'd be away for months at a time. Him and Sam had only just started to be brothers again, and now they were going to be torn apart again.

Alex on the other hand was wrapping a hand around her stomach with fear in her gut, the same thoughts of panic that were in the other two hunter's minds were also pumping through her veins. They were now sitting ducks to anything supernatural. As Dean gripped her shaking hand, she made a silent vow to protect that child till she drew her last breath. Nothing was going to change that.

_**TBC  
Re-updating all of this story, as when I first wrote it, it was my first fic.  
Please review and let me know what you think!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Part Two.**_

The months passed relatively slowly, with the tiny life inside Alex growing bit by bit. It wasn't month or two after Dean received the news of becoming a Daddy, he sent Alex to Bobby's place for her own safety. He and Sam knew they needed to keep hunting, even though they'd reduced the amount of hunts they chose, and the severity of the risks they took. Dean looked at his brother, now fully grown, and felt the same great surge of protectiveness arise that he had felt when Sam was just a baby. He was going to be there for his child no matter what, knowing he'd do everything in his power to keep the kid in blissful ignorance like he'd tried to keep Sammy. There was no way on this earth that Dean Winchester was going to raise his child like his father raised him.

Bobby was thrilled to find he was going to be an uncle, pushing the fear filled thoughts to the back of his mind, trusting that the Winchester's had discussed them and sorted them out, even though they hadn't. He gave Dean his word that he would protect Alex and the baby with his life, knowing she was fully capable of protecting herself, heavily pregnant or not, but promising Dean all the same.

Dean was around for most of the time, trying his hardest to make up for the weeks he spent absent on hunts by calling every day while he was away.  
The door at Bobby's rattled as someone knocked, Bobby slipping his gun into his belt before going to answer it. Dean smiled as he opened it, hugging the man who was like a father to him, Sam following suit after Dean walked into the warm house, glad to be out of the wind. Alex had heard his voice and got up from the couch, running a hand over her swollen belly as the baby inside her kicked, only a few weeks till her due date. Apparently the kid already knew his Dad's voice.

"Daddy's home!" Dean shouted as he entered the study, his arms opened wide for a hug as he threw his bag to the wooden floor.

He wrapped his arms around Alex, sighing with relief that she was safe, even though in the weeks he'd been gone, he hadn't doubted Bobby's ability to look after her one bit.

"How you doing?" He asked, kissing her hungrily before letting her answer.

"Everything's ok, Dean."

"And the-"

"Dean. _Everything's_ ok", she grinned, knowing what he was about to ask. The same thing he'd called to ask twice a day since he'd been gone. Alex knew it was sweet that he was worried and it showed how much he cared about her and his child, but after seven or so months, it had started to get annoying.

"Good. Listen, me and Sam have to take off again in a couple of days."

"Any idea how long for?"

"Too soon to tell."

"Because the baby's due-"

It was Dean's turn to cut Alex off, but this time with another passion filled kiss.

"I know. You think I'd miss that? Trust me, I'll be back in time."

"Ok."  
Alex nodded and smiled, although the uncertainty in her voice was hard to mistake, after all, Dean wasn't the most reliable of people. He laughed as she bit her bottom lip.

"I'll be here. I promise."

One night they were laid in bed at Bobby's, just listening to the sound of silence, content with that blissful moment of safety where they could pretend they were just like a normal family. Dean had his head resting softly on Alex's belly, listening to his child kicking with a smile resting on his lips and his eyes closed, soaking in and storing every moment deep in his mind.

"Are you scared?" Alex blurted out, her brain no longer being able to cope with the fear of raising a child while hiding the secrets of a hunter's life.

Dean lifted his head, propping himself up on an elbow and looking up at Alex.  
"Are you?"

She nodded and shifted on the bed, trying the break eye contact with Dean but finding it impossible.

"There's no need to be. It's going to be ok."  
Dean didn't smile as he spoke, but moved to kiss her lips gently. They pulled apart for a second, just glad to have eachother close.  
"Yeah, it's gonna be damned difficult. But It's going to be ok, so no; I'm not scared", he lied, kissing her again and running a hand across her cheek before laying his head back on her stomach, closing his eyes to absorb the moment and slow his thundering heart.

_"It's gonna be ok" _he repeated silently to himself, knowing there was no way it was going to be ok. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach, it wasn't going to be ok at all.

_**TBC  
Sorry for the short chapter, but there's more to come.  
Please review and let me know what you think!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Part Three.  
**_  
And now here she was, laid in a hospital bed trying to take her mind off of the shooting contractions as they ripped through her body. This was meant to be the big day. The day their son or daughter was meant to be born. Except Sam and Dean were still out on the hunt and weren't returning any calls. That was what panicked her. Since Dean found out Alex was pregnant, he always called twice a day to check up on things regardless of where they were or what they were doing. Always.

Alex reeled off yet another phone number to a nurse and threw her head back onto the pillow, whimpering. _Please let Bobby pick up. Please_. He'd gone away for a few hours to pick something up from a friend. He was reluctant to go, but Alex had told him she'd be fine, and besides, what ever it was he needed to get sounded pretty darn important.

A few minutes later the nurse re-entered with a reassuring smile and handed her a phone which Alex took gratefully and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Bobby!" She nearly shouted down the phone, gripping onto it as though it were a lifeline.

"I'm on my way Lex. Nurse just told me, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Do you know where Dean is? He wont pick up."  
A scream rattled down the phone line as another contraction racked Alex's body.

"Look, just sit tight. I'll try and get a hold of Dean on the way."

"Is he even alive?" She screamed.

"And don't have that kid till I get there!" Bobby replied, obviously avoiding the subject. It was clear he knew as little as she did.

The beep of a disconnection echoed down the phone and the nurse took back the phone and placed a friendly hand on Alex's shoulder as she threw her head onto the pillow and let out a sob of panic.

"This baby's coming out, and its coming out now", the midwife called, her words making Alex's stomach drop. She needed Dean to be there, he promised.  
"No. No, it can't. Dean's not here. I can't have the baby without Dean. Please", she begged, as though by begging, the birth would be delayed just a little longer. She needed Dean with her.

"I'm sorry but this isn't going to wait. Now, I'm gonna need you to push for me."

_*****_

10 agonising minutes later, Alex was seconds away from giving birth. Exhausted, she clenched her fists and closed her eyes, too tired and in pain to even notice the door open and close, tears of frustration dripping down her cheeks.

"I'm here, I'm here!"

Alex's eyes shot open and took in the sight of Dean stood before her. He was wearing his trademark inherited leather jacket and steri-strips covered small cuts across his forehead. A worried smile rested on his lips. _Gameface_, Alex thought.

"They insisted on fixing me up before i was allowed in. How're you doing?" Dean sighed with relief, delicately brushing the hunter's messy hair from her sweaty forehead.  
Another scream escaped her lips as she pushed.

"That good, huh?" Dean felt out of his comfort zone. For once, he had no idea what to do. What to say. And this time he couldn't bluff his way through it.

"One more push, one more push should do it." The midwife shouted over the scream.  
He saw her murmur something to a nurse who immediately left. The thought was dismissed, he had bigger problems at hand.

"You're doing great baby. Just take it easy, you'll break my hand, 'kay?" he smirked.

"Take it easy?" Alex yelled through clenched teeth.  
Her grip loosened slightly, so Dean squeezed her hand tight against him.  
The baby was born and whisked away quickly by a nurse, sending alarm bells ringing in Dean's mind.

"Is it ok? The baby. My ba-...is it ok?" He quizzed, his heart temporarily halted.  
The midwife didn't answer at first, but then she looked up with a wide smile and assured him the child was perfectly healthy.

A healthy baby boy.

Alex mumbled and rested her head against the pillow.

"You did it. We have a son." Dean closed his eyes and kissed her knuckles which were still held tightly in his grip, although her fingers were now slackened against his wrist.

A doctor followed by the nurse who had left moments before burst through the door and began conferring hushed words with the midwife.  
Alex's head fell to one side and her arm became a weight against Dean, causing his stomach to drop and his heart to stop again as his eyes snapped open to take in the sight of the unconscious girlfriend.

"Lex, baby. Lex?" Dean said holding her hand closer to him as nurses rushed round him checking beeping machines and shifting her body on the bed.

"Sir, if you could please step outside" A young nurse asked placing a hand on his arm.

"What's happening?"

"You're girlfriend's experiencing complications. We need to operate as soon as possible." A doctor said, the meaning to his words lost as he unhooked the sides of the bed.  
Dean placed her hand next to her still body before he was pushed aside by Doctors rushing around her bed, the sheets around her bloody.

"Keep her safe. Please, for the love of God. Keep her safe." He pleaded and allowed the nurse to guide him from the room. _What else could he do?  
_

_**TBC  
Please review and let me know what you think.  
**_


	4. Chapter 4

_****_

Part Four.  
  
Faces brimming over with apprehension and happiness greeted him in the waiting room as he looked into the eyes of a restless Bobby and Sam.

"Has she had it yet?" Bobby asked, a smile on his lips and anticipation in his gruff voice.

"Yeah" Dean exhaled shakily, that being all he managed to get out, his brain running out of words to make a comprehensible sentence with. He didn't seem able to take in what had just happened. It just wouldn't compute.

"Everything's ok though, isn't it?"

The tell-tale look on Dean's colour-drained face told the pair of them that every thing was far from ok.

"What ain't you tellin' us, boy?"

"Bobby, I...erm...I think you should go. We're gonna be here a while and...just...I'll call you."

"The hell I'm leaving! You tell me what's going on now." The hunter demanded, searching Dean's shattered expression with wide eyes.

"There...there were complications. She's in the OR."

"And the kid?"

"Fine, I think. Oh God, I haven't even seen my own kid. They said...they said I had to leave before I had the chance."  
Dean squeezed his eyes tightly shut, breathing slowly and deeply as he realised that it wasn't just his brother and his girlfriend he had to worry about anymore.

"Dean..." Sam began, preparing to comfort his older brother with sorrow in his eyes.

"Don't start, Sammy. There's nothing you can say that I haven't heard before."

"I know, but..."

"I said, I don't wanna talk about it Sam!" Dean yelled, knowing that he had caused several patients and nurses to stare, but his own tear filled eyes remained fixed on the hazel eyes of his younger brother.  
"I...I can't. I _can't _talk about it."  
For a second Sam could see the dull light in his eyes, where there was once the glisten of ambition. He could see the toll the years of loss had taken on his older sibling, and how broken he was inside. Sam didn't know how much more Dean could take.

Dean turned away without another word and walked over to a seat, sitting down and placing his head in his hands, just wanting the world to open up and swallow him whole. Both Bobby and Sam exchanged knowing, worried glances before sitting in the row opposite Dean, searching for some way, _any_ way, to comfort the troubled hunter.

"I'll get you a coffee", Sam suggested, contemplating laying a reassuring hand on Dean's shoulder before stopping. He feared that if he touched Dean, his fragile looking form might actually break under the gentle touch.

Minutes passed like years as the hands of the clock edged further around the faded clock face, the glossy black coating of them shimmering under the fluorescent lighting of the waiting room. Another nurse, a young friendly face, led Dean to another room. He bit his lip and let the tears he'd held inside roll freely down his cheeks, preparing himself for the worst.

_She was dead. She'd died on the table. She's gone.  
_  
Instead, once inside the room, she turned to a small plastic cradle and gathered up a tiny blue bundle of blankets in her arms.

"Would you like to hold your son?" She asked in a hushed voice, that same smile etched on her young face.

He couldn't speak, words would only get stuck in his throat, and he accepted the miniature being into his arms. It was his son. He was real and he was safe, but when Dean looked into the tiny child's face, all he could see was Alex. His stomach flipped as he tore his eyes away from the baby he was awkwardly holding close to him, feeling suddenly out of his depth.

"I can't...I can't do this. Lexi's meant to be...this should be her, she should be holding him...I'm sorry..." He stumbled as he hurriedly handed his son back to the bewildered nurse. He rubbed a hand across his cheek, pushing back glistening tears, and turned his back to her. Without another word, he left, only pausing at the door to attempt to stop his shaking hands.

The hunters continued to sit in anxious silence, Dean's now cold coffee still on the small table, untouched. Instead, he'd turned to his whisky filled hipflask with Sam and Bobby pretending not to notice. In any other situation he'd turn to Alex for help and even Bobby's futile phone calls to his various contacts proved useless in the end. She'd been in a room on her own with men covered in masks, slicing and dicing, prodding and poking for hours on end.

When the moment finally came and the surgeon approached the trio, his words were anticipated. Dean felt the words wash over him like ice cold water, numbing every cell in his body.

_"We did everything we could, but the complications were just too severe. She didn't make it."_

He heard the words before the surgeon had even said them. He knew he'd be hearing them for a long time after as well.

_**TBC.  
Please review and let me know what you think.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_****_

Part Five.

~*~ 6 days later ~*~

Thick steam billowed over the shower screen, engulfing the small bathroom of yet another faded motel room. The searing water was turning Dean's skin a fluorescent pink as he felt the beer and whiskey chasers pumping heavily through his veins. He was drunk, he could tell that much, but it wasn't nearly enough to mask the pain he felt. The pain that Alex was gone. Silent tears rolled down his reddened cheeks, mixing with the heated spray of the shower, as he closed his eyes, leaned against the icy grey tiles and remembered.  
_  
__**"Dean... There's something I've been meaning to tell you."  
**_  
_The way she smiled out of the corner of her mouth. The way she always smelled like vanilla and cinnamon. The way her softly curled hair fell onto her shoulders_.

_**"I'm pregnant."**_

He squeezed his eyes tight shut and let out a strangled sob, leaning heavily on the tiled wall and moving further into the blistering water. He allowed the tears to fall freely for the first time in what felt like an eternity as he drew shuddering breaths through gritted teeth.

He clicked the shower off to hear the cry of his child echoing through the thin motel walls, and for a second he felt anger rise in his chest. If she had never fallen pregnant, she wouldn't have had complications. She would be sat in that bedroom, iPod in hand, studying details of their latest case, her eyebrows knitted close together like they used to when she was deep in thought.

Occasionally, he'd wake up early in the morning and for a split second would forget everything had happened. He'd take comfort in the thought that Alex was sleeping soundly in the same room. Then painful memories would creep into the corners of his mind and his heart would skip a beat or two before he tried to swallow the lump that had risen in his throat and buried his head back into his pillow.

Throughout all this, Dean would tell no one.

Dean took a moment to collect himself, swallowing hard and putting on his gameface, not knowing if it was for Sam's benefit or his own. He got dried and dressed and made his way into the other room, pulling yet another beer from the stocked fridge. Perching on the edge of his bed, he opened it and took a long gulp of the icy alcohol, feeling it run down his throat and into his stomach.

He slowly closed his eyes and tried to think of anything except Alex. Anything except the fact he had a son. He tried to focus on the Christmas Sammy gave him the protective Egyptian amulet, but Sammy's pre-teen baby face faded to a vision of his child at the same age, asking the same question Sam used to ask his big brother.

_"Why don't we have a mom like everyone else?"  
_  
Dean tried to focus on the fact it was Sammy's voice echoing in his head, his little brother, the brother he'd sworn to protect with his life ever since the fire.

He tried instead to focus on a time when they were a happy, normal family (as could ever be normal for a hunter). Just his brother, his dad and him. But the arguments between Sam and John started to seep like black ink into his clouded mind, the alcohol clearly not helping. He found John morphing into himself, standing in an unfamiliar grotty motel room opposite his 18-year-old son. The green sparkling eyes that the boy had inherited from Dean shining back at him, burning with anger and hatred. The people were different, but the argument was the same. His child was leaving him and the life of hunting for school.

"Dean..." Sam started, causing Dean to look up, pulled back into reality.

Cradled in Sam's arms was the baby boy wrapped carefully in a light blue blanket. Dean's baby boy, crying and gurgling while Sam tried relentlessly to soothe him.

"What?" Dean asked, sighing and shifting his gaze to the dull green carpeted floor. He couldn't allow himself to accept his situation, that would mean accepting that Alex was dead. No. He couldn't.

"Dean...I think Aiden wants his dad."

Aiden. Alex had chosen the name for a boy. They'd come to the agreement that Dean got to choose if it was a girl. Dean hadn't even thought of a name by the time the due date rolled around, something both Alex and Sam had lectured him about for months. Alex had agreed that if the baby was a boy, they would give him the middle name John, after Dean's father, so that's just what Dean did. _Aiden John Winchester. _

"Sam..." He began to plead before placing the bottle on the floor by his feet. He'd been putting off getting involved ever since they got back from the hospital for fear he'd do something wrong, his little brother taking over the care of his nephew effortlessly. It seemed to be second nature to him. But when Dean looked up and actually saw how exhausted Sam was, he reluctantly outstretched his arms. Sam had been getting up at all hours and it was beginning to show.

"You gonna be ok for an hour or so while I- "

"Just go get some sleep man, we'll be fine" Dean assured him as he was handed Aiden, feeling something along the lines of an electric shock run though every cell of his body, making his heart speed up and his eyes start to fill silently with fresh tears.

The crying slowly subsided as Dean gently rocked his child, pulling back the blankets to run a finger delicately down the cheek of his son. It was then that he realised that Aiden was the only little piece of Alex he had left.

Dean looked down at the tiny baby's wide eyes looking back up at him and a crooked smile leaked from the corner of his mouth. He didn't even need to look up to know that Sam was smiling back at him.

"We'll be just fine" Dean whispered as his son's tiny hand gripped onto his index finger.

_**TBC  
Please review and let me know what you think.**_


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